♡

you should be here

murdershawty:

trying my best, smoke in my chest

murdershawty:

head feeling empty, im dead like the rest

battling my own mind

winning or losing

i can’t decide

if i pull the trigger inside my head

i’m not sure who would win that bet

playing tricks on me instead

i feel like im starting to forget who i am

painful to see the pieces of me

i stay fighting although i am afraid to see

the person i will be

when my own mind stops attacking me

11:41pm

you did this; i will never fully recover

being home alone is my own personal hell

Today was uncomfortable. Laughing when I don’t feel the laughter inside me. The voices screaming in my head distract me from what you say. I’m not here, fully. Trying to break away from listening to these painful thoughts crying in my head rob me from your loving grasp. Going on like this is tiring. I can feel the fire of anxiety burning in my chest as it keeps growing the more I strive to fight it. I miss sleep but when I’m there all I dream about is all the things my thoughts remind me I don’t have.